Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Am I Judging Fairly?

Kenny tells me he is happy. Myself, along with several family members, question that.

But, who am I to judge or question him?

I have had to rethink my position. If he is happy with this girl in his life why can't I be happy for him?

I am trying. I am getting better at accepting. Although it is very hard to be put at the back of the line. It hurt Christmas morning when everyone in the family adjusted their plans so they could be at our house. It was more for Lily, Kenny's sister with Down syndrome, that everyone made our house the priority on Christmas morning. I know when my other kids start having children of their own they will make their house the priority that special day but for now they choose to be with Lily enjoying her happiness.
Kenny was at the girlfriend's house. There were no children there. Not even a bunch of presents to open. They chose that over us and it did hurt.

But, they did come over. They came over in the afternoon for about 20 minutes. They left because there was no else around. They had all gone off to other places. See I am still negative. It was good to see them and have them come over...period.

I want to get rid of the negative feelings. I am trying. I will try harder. If my son tells me he is happy I am going to try to believe and accept that.

Here's to a more accepting 2013!

Kenny holding a hand painted journal that his brother gave him.

1 comment:

  1. It's not negativity; it's realism. You've been there through Kenny's life and have seen each stage of his illness (so far). As his mom, though, at some point you'll have to pass the care-taking on to another woman who will promise to love and cherish him for the rest of his life. I feel for you. It's hard to let go even when you're tired.

    My husband has done an excellent job of sticking with me through the years. I pray your son finds someone strong like that. I still want my mom, though, when I need a great deal of comfort. We hear our mom's heartbeats from the inside. It's a special bond.


I really enjoy comments and hearing from new people but if you are here to complain or challenge my personal thoughts and feelings go elsewhere. How is that for blunt!