Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Razor Blades and Butcher Knives

Razor blades and butcher knives don't mix well with Spice.

Work and smoking Spice with all the other employees don't mix well.

If you don't already know I HATE SPICE!

The "detailing job" ended up being a great way to smoke spice with others, which lead to smoking whenever he could. Of course when he walked in the house I knew he was high. He can't hide it anymore from us. He doesn't realize he acts and looks different.

He didn't care anymore. I asked him to hand over the rest of the Spice but he didn't know where it was. He really had lost it (hubby found it later outside), but I no longer believe a lot of what he tells me. He got mad because I didn't believe him.

Then the real fun began.  He grabbed a razor blade that he had in his night stand (guess I'll start searching his room) and told me this would be on me and I would always feel guilty because he killed himself. I told him I wouldn't feel guilty because it would be his choice, not mine. He went outside with the razor blade and started cutting himself in our front yard!

I called 911. I told them I needed a CIT (Crisis Intervention Trained) police officer, that my son was high on Spice and had mental illness and that they needed to come without lights and sirens. The only trained officer was clear across town. I waited on 911 watching Kenny through the window as he continued to cut his wrist.

He must have sensed something was up because he came into the house and grabbed a butcher knife. I am telling the operator step by step what is happening. Finally after what seemed liked an eternity I saw 5 officers walking up our street. One had his taser ready. They told Kenny to drop the knife. When they did he took 2 big swipes across his wrists. Then he dropped the knife and complied with them.

They took him away to the hospital. I never went outside and I didn't go to the hospital. I was a little rude when the psychologist called and said that he had talked with Kenny and thought he was ready to come home. We did not let him come home.

He is now in jail. After jail he will go to court mandated rehab. Our insurance will only pay for outpatient. The court wants inpatient. If I am paying for it he will go to outpatient.

I have to say that he did call his probation on his own and tell him what he had done. When he went to court on Monday he was well aware and ready for the consequences. I don't know if that's him growing up and taking  a little responsibility for his actions or if he doesn't doesn't give a damn anymore.

As his mom I am hoping he is taking a little responsibility.

And life goes on...


  1. It's one thing after another in your daily grind. I'm so sorry that Kenny and you are continually going through this.
    Blessings and Bear hugs.

  2. I was thinking about you a couple of days ago, thinking things must be better since you hadnt posted in a while. I'm sorry I was wrong.
    I know I have asked this before but at the moment I can not remember...How old is Kenny? I know your worried about the cost of his treatment b/c of your insurance...maybe its time to step back and let him deal with the consequences financially. You said in your post that it was his decision to do what he was doing, maybe he should have to suffer the consequences fully for his actions and be responsible for paying for all of it (court cost,treatment,etc...)I know its hard for you to watch your son fall apart at the seams, but please know your not alone....hugs..

  3. I am so sorry. Things seem to get better, get worse, get better, get even worse (or at least that's how it runs in this house). My thoughts are with you.


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