Wednesday, June 8, 2011

He Attempted Again

Kenny attempted suicide again yesterday morning.

He is angry because we found him and took him to the hospital. He is very angry because he failed.

He told us he couldn't even get killing himself right. He told us we had two perfect sons that had girlfriends, jobs and both went to college; we didn't need him.

He called one of the nurses that gave him one on one phenomenal care a "fat, f---ing, bitch, lesbian. He said he was going to come home and get it right next time. She told him she was sorry he had to wake up where he didn't want too, but while he was in her care he would be safe. Then she turned to us and said you know he will do this again and one day might succeed.

We told her we knew. Just like... oh yay we're ready, we're prepared, what will be will be, life goes on with or without him. THAT'S A LOAD OF CRAP!

I want Kenny here! I want him to be happy! I want him to find a job that he at least likes! I want him to find love!

DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!

3 comments:

  1. I'm sorry. I could say all the flowery froo froo BS but we all know its just that;BS. So again..I'm sorry. Is he going to be committed to a long term facility this time? I hope so at least he will be safe there even if he dosnt like it.

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  2. We are waiting for him to wake up enough to talk with psych. The hospital has blue slipped him so he can't go anywhere on his own (now that he is a grown adult and thinks he knows what is best).
    What is disgusting is that my hubby and I were so calm when hubby found him. It was like yeah he's alive (and would live) let's get him in the car because we both knew we couldn't afford an ambluance.
    I'm just getting my husbands cancer surgery all lined up on payments. How bad is that of me. How terrible of a mother am I that I know he's alive and will live so let's save pennies. I know he should be in a facility but the thought of paying more medical bills is gut wrenching.

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  3. I know it seems bad on the surface but as a parent you have been through this so many times before the shock of it dosnt have the same effect as it did the first time. You have to think about your family as a whole and hes just one part of that whole.You cant beat yourself up over a split second decision that you had to make. You had seen this before and knew you had time to drive him to the ER. I would have done the same thing.
    I'm assuming as part of his probation he is required to have a job, but because of all of his mental issues is there a way to have him declared disabled by the state? If hes not capable of working or keeping a job because of his illness he should be able to get disability therefore making him eligable for medicade or whatever they call medical assistance in your state...which would make it possable for him to be put into a long term treatment program.
    Another thing to think about, and I know its a harrible thing to even consider but having him declared as incompatent because hes a danger to himself may be an option as well.

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