This weekend hubby and I went out of town for our 26th wedding anniversary. I am always happy to get away for a few days. I relax, laugh, sleep, eat, play word search, Sudoku and read. I love to read. We got a spa package getaway. I highly recommend a massage and bodywrap for everyone.
The book I took with me was Tweak: Growing Up On Methamphetamines by Nic Sheff. I should start by saying that I read his dad's book Beautiful Boy. Kenny and I heard David Sheff speak at a NAMI conference. I was excited to read Beautiful Boy but was let down; not by the writing or the story. I was hoping it would go more into the mental illness part of the story and it didn't.
Kenny is not and has not been a hard core drug user, no meth, no heroine, no crack, no shooting up anything. At least that is what he has told me, and he is mostly honest with us. Both Kenny and I wonder though if his using pot and mushrooms might have awakened his mental illness.
Anyway, back to Tweak. It was very well written. Nic and his father are gifted writers. But again I was hoping that the book would speak about the mental illness side of things and it did more than Beautiful Boy. I could understand when he was talking about his mind racing and not turning off. When he was finally diagnosed I was happy for him. I thought now he will get the help he needs. Well that is kind of where it ended for me. I was so hoping to find out that he went on and succeeded. Which he does to a point, he wrote a book!
At the back of the book there is an "Afterword" he wrote that he had relapsed. He then started a blog and wrote this: The problem is, I'm f---ing crazy. I'm not saying that lightly, either. I mean, I really am f---ing crazy as hell. In the time since my book ended...I've continued to make a total catastrophic disaster of my life. I've continued to hurt everyone who cares about me. That was back in 2008. I don't know what his status is today. I was wanting answers. I was wanting hope. Nic is just another kid with bi-polar who has up and downs and relapses.
I guess I am still searching for a cure. I know there is not one out there. I still desperately look. I know people with bi-polar go on to live great lives. We, however, are still in the newborn stages, learning to walk with it. I picked up the book loving someone with bipolar disorder by Julie A. Fast & John D.Preston, PSY.D. It was recommended by Megan, one of my blog readers. She also recommended two others that I looked for but couldn't find at Barnes and Noble and now can't find the names of the books (So Megan if you are reading...).
I did get inspiration while I was getting my body wrap. Kenny could be a masseur. Lily and I could open a bed and breakfast or just a little cafe/store/spa where Kenny would give massages and Lily would have a place to work.
There it's settled. Everything is fixed and we'll now live relaxingly massaged and happily fed ever after.