Thursday, October 7, 2010


I use to like fall a lot more than I do now. Years ago by this time in October all the decorations would be up, and the front window painted with a Halloween scene. Not so much anymore, although I am working on getting things done.

I get interrupted more now than back then. Kenny cuts now. Kenny attempted suicide in October 2008. Fall is no longer the same.

I have heard for many years that people suffer more from depression in fall and winter. I know I get more down in the winter season when it's darker and colder out. The medical field has now given this a name SAD (really they couldn't come up with a better name?!?) Kenny's APRN NP suggested he get a therapy light. We got him one that looks like this, but we got it at Costco and it didn't cost as much as this one. He uses it a lot. I really don't know if it works or not. I am going to try it one day, maybe for my Sane Time.

I had no idea back then, when Kenny went as Abe Lincoln for Halloween, that Lincoln had mental illness.


  1. HI Suzie! I figured out that I had to click on the post first to see the comment box!

    Anyway, I am so glad that you have started this blog! I am new to schizoaffective disorder--well formally. My fiance (S) has been suffering from it for years, but we just got his final diagnosis last month. Before it was panic disorder, drug induced psychosis, hallucinogen induced persisting perception disorder.. and last by not least schizoaffective.

    My fiance tried acid once when he was in high school (long before I knew him) and has had residual affects from it since. The illness has peaked now that we are in our mid twenties, and schizoaffective disorder can be drug induced, so we are in sort of a chicken egg situation trying to figure out if this is genetic or a direct cause of the one stupid drug trip! His doc believes that he had a genetic predisposition and the drugs were a catalyst for the problem.

    His condition is depressive, so he's not violet. He has really awful paranoia, severe depression, suicidal tendencies, and panic attacks. We FINALLY found a drug combination that is keeping most symptoms at bay. (he still struggles with paranoia-- the doc says this will be forever)

    He takes:

    Lunesta for sleeping. In your post I noticed you said your son has been prescribed a sleeping pill but does not use it. When S was suicidal and admitted to the psychiatric hospital, the biggest problem was that he was not sleeping well. His psychiatrist said that with all of his patients, sleep is the number one priority. If they aren't sleeping right, he knows they will eventually crash.

    Geodon- Anti psychotic. This is for the extreme paranoia. we have had a good experience with this drug. At first it was rough because he was not told that you MUST take it at night before bed AND with a carbohydrate.

    Zoloft- mood stabilizer. This is to keep depression at bay.

    Wellbutrin- mood stabilizer. This is taken in addition to Zoloft. Be careful with this one. It's not normally recommended for schizoaffective, but S is depressant-not manic, so it has worked wonders for us. Some have reported an increase in anxiety, but so far we have had no problems here.

    Xanax- He takes this as needed for anxiety. Some days none at all, some days 1-2

    Klonipin- anti-anxiety (basically an extended release xanax)

    He certainly does take quite a cocktail of meds, but truthfully he is very highly functioning. Sleeping patterns are normal, social interaction is normal. He's working on getting back to his job.

    Now for the list of stuff that did not work at all:

    Trazodone- for sleeping. Way too strong. He literally slept for 2 days.

    Abilify- anti psychotic/anti depressant. Gave him restless leg syndrome/ the jitters.

    Seroquel- sleep aid/anti psychotic. Made his arms fall asleep---weird.

    Hope some of this is helpful!


  2. Just wanted to share my love and support Suzie, and I really do love that picture... you truly do have a beautiful family. I hope you can find your love for fall again sometime soon...


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